Carpe Diem: April 2007

The past two weeks have been a perfectly balanced mix of ups and downs. My friend Jamie visited for two weeks, arriving on the 5th. We planned to travel to the south of Taiwan and then to a beach in the Philippines. A friend from work, John, accompanied us to Kenting, a small beach town on the southern coast of Taiwan. We left Sunday night around midnight on an eight hour bus ride, which in Taiwan is like riding in a presidential procession. The buses are very nice, big comfortable seats, plenty of leg room and snacks to boot. We arrived the next morning and were immediately greeted by a rotund Taiwanese women (who would later regret ever meeting us) looking to pawn a couple of scooters off on us. As Kenting and the surrounding environs are somewhat spread out and there is no local bus system we decided to rent two scooters between the three of us for about ten bucks a day. We snorkeled all day in crystal clear water, then crashed at night. The next day was more of the same, but that night we decided to get out and hang out on the beach at night. We ended up sitting around and chewing bettle nut (a type of fruit from a palm like tree here, similar to chewing tobacco in it's effects) and suffering horrible rice wine, so as not to lose face in front of our gracious hosts. Four old Taiwanese men and the three of us, all kinds of broken Chinese and English flying around. Later that night I made the mistake of taking out the scooter and whipping around the coast. I eventually decided to head back as I was on the verge of running out of gas when I encountered a herd of cows crossing the road. I slammed on the brakes as much out of sheer surprise as anything else. I flew off the front of the scooter, cut up my face, legs and arms fairly badly and broke the license plate off. I collected myself, the plate and headed back to our hotel. The next day we surveyed the damage (about $150 worth) and my wounds. All told, nothing too serious, just some cuts and a fat lip. However as we headed out for breakfast and a bus back to Taipei, I noticed I was without my wallet. Truly the essence of adding insult to injury. Luckily my friends were able to spot me until we got back to Taipei and I could get to my bank and withdraw money. Losing my wallet was so disheartining; lost money, my ATM card, my Alien Residence Card, Health Insurance card, Driver's license, and lots of other odds and ends. Nonetheless we made it back to Taipei in one piece, though I drew stares from everyone for my bloodied face and caricature of a fat lip. Jamie and I left the next day for the Philippines, not before I tried to get to my bank as it opened and withdraw money. As I didn't have my ATM card I had to physically ask for money, but since I didn't have my ATM card or bank book ( a ridiculous, archaic phenomenon I won't begin to get into) they wouldn't let me withdraw my money!! I was told to go to the bank I opened my account at and deal with it there!! Unbelievable, the banks have been a major source of frustration for myself as well as many of my friends here, and they just don't have their shit together, pardon my language. Without time to go bank to bank we left for our flight to Manila, and Jamie loaned me money for the week. We flew into Manila (Ninoy Aquino Intl. by the way) then transferred to the joke of a slab of tarmac called the domestic airport. From there we flew to an island called Kalibo, where we disembarked, paid this fee and that fee and then finally took a bus through the most poverty-stricken area I've ever seen. Picture Haiti or Guatemala, or some rough areas of the Bahamas. Absolute poverty, the only modern or nice looking buildings were Catholic churches. Finally we got to the jetty port, paid a few more ridiculous fee's then boarded a boat to paradise, also known as an island called Boracay. Boracay is a small island with about five thousand natives, all destitute and impoverished, and a white sandy beach lined with palm trees that runs for almost two miles. The water is crystal clear as far as you can swim out, and it's as close to an island paradise as one could hope for, sans all the people. We stayed in a nice little bungalow for five nights, though we had to switch to AC because the heat was equatorial, nothing like I've ever experienced. All together it was a great island getaway, the only drawback was I couldn't swim due to my various open wounds. Not a problem as the beach is laced with as many bars as grains of sand, and happy hour starts at 2pm, with beers fifty cents a piece. Everything was so insanely cheap, made Taiwan look like London. We ate dinner buffet's of seafood and meats every night for five bucks. All told in five days I spent less than $140. Without dwelling on the economic situation, I think our hostel owner expressed it best when he told us that "In Asia, China is riding a motorboat, Taiwan, S. Korea and Japan are swimming at a brisk clip, and the Philippines are somehow drowning backwards." Truly shocked by the conditions, though judging by the largest newspaper, the Manila Star, I should have seen it coming. I think there is something to be said for judging an economy or country by the quality of their largest daily. We left early Tuesday morning, we took a motorcycle with a side compartment attached to it to the jetty. From there we took a boat to Kalibo, then a bus to the domestic airport. From the airport we flew to Manila, where we took a cab to the Intl. airport, upon which time the real fun ensued. We were issued a return ticket, old-school style, in Taiwan which I have never dealt with before. Neither Jamie or I knew we needed to keep the ticket after arriving in Manila so we both threw them away. So when we went to go and retrieve our tickets, the lady at Philippine Airlines (worst airline I've flown) told us since we didn't have our tickets on us there was nothing she could do. This is despite the fact that she could plainly look us up in her computer and verify that we had bought tickets on this flight and we both had ID to prove we were those people. After pointless arguments with her and her even less helpful and quite cold supervisor, we were told our only recourse was to file a lost affidavit with the police and hopefully pay $50 each for a lost ticket fine. So we are taken to the local police station, we tell our same story to roughly 917 different "police officers" and then after much conjecture and questioning, they provide with us our affidavit, we rush back to the airport and barely make our flight. I got through security first and ran to our gate, but went the wrong way and was five feet from boarding a plane bound for Honolulu when I was re-directed by an airport worker. That would have been the cherry on top, Oluha, welcome to Hawaii! A long, sometimes painful (in more ways than one) vacation, nay "journey." A quick addendum on the Philippines, the most fraudulent country in Asia according to many sources, myself included. We paid half a dozen pointless fee's for buses, boats, then a fifteen dollar exit fee at the last security check before getting to your gate at the airport. Our taxi drivers were not metered and the same ride b/w airports cost us 1.70 the first time and almost 4 the second time. Our taxi drivers slipped security at the airport money each time they checked our car, and the police notified us that normally they suggest people pay a little "service" fee for filing an affidavit. However since I told them I was of Philipino descent (my father Mr. Aquino, was born in Manila) they let that slip by. A long post, sorry, but much to report, and to be honest a little airing of grievances. Back in Taipei now, wounds are almost healed, have a new wallet and in the course of re-acquiring all my paperwork. Little more than a week and it'll be eight months here, my how time flies. Some pictures from our trip.